…there has been a lot of that going on around here as my due date gets closer and closer. The crib is up, rooms have been rearranged, onesies washed, bottles sanitized, but over the past couple of weeks I have felt a stirring in my heart to make room in a different kind of way. To make room in what has become a very busy, cluttered life. I wish I could say that this is the first time I have found myself in this place…but it isn’t. I like to be busy, I like to have “projects”, I like to help and be of service, I like to interact with people. All can be good things…but not when they come before the better thing.
…When we moved here just two short years ago, one of the things that I looked forward to the most was not being so busy! I left leadership positions behind and looked forward to concentrating more on my family, but here we are, just two years later and I am essentially back in the same place I was. I was recently reading in 1 Timothy where Paul says, “Guard what has been entrusted to your care.” What has been entrusted to my care? My relationship with my Lord, my husband, my children, my home. How can I guard them effectively, in the way that the Lord would want me to, when my brain is going a million different directions? The simple answer is… “I can’t.”
…So I have begun the process of “decluttering”…of letting go of some responsibilities that I think the Lord has been asking me to let go of for some time. Even as I write these words, I worry about who will fill in the gaps. But, honestly, that is just my pride thinking that God doesn’t have this under control. Like somehow I am essential to this particular ministry. However, here is what I have found…just like when you begin to declutter your house and at first it seems a bit overwhelming and you wonder if it is worth the work, if you push through and get it done the burden that is lifted is so worth the effort.
…My family deserves better…my Lord deserves better. I want to enjoy the beauty of new life and what this little boy will bring to our family. I want to do that with a heart and a mind that are focused…not distracted.
“When I reach the end of my days,
a moment or two from now,
I must look back on something more meaningful than stocks and bonds.
Nor is fame of any lasting benefit.
I will consider my earthly existence to have been wasted unless
I can recall a loving family,
a consistent investment in the lives of people,
and an earnest attempt to serve the God who made me.
Nothing else makes much sense.”
how time flies…just 3 months before we moved